condlict resolution, organizational conflict, conflict solutions, problem solving, compromising
conflict resolution, workplace negativity, dealing with difficult people
faith, spirituality, confidence, waiting on God
health, wellness, wholeness, healing, spiritual healing, physical healing, emotional healing
passion, dreams, ideas, value, worth, workplace, job performance, purpose
procrastinaltion, bad decisions, road to hell, regret, backfire
stress, work, anxiety, workplace, job, peace, office,
tact, courtesy, workplace culture, workplace decorum, poise,
working with difficult people, working with mean people, working under pressure, workplace bullying
workplace bullying, job stress, balance, work culture, behavior, attitude, disgruntled, productivity
workplace negativity, change, habits, behaviors, office negativity
Your Critics Just Got Handled!
There was a song that was popular back in the ‘80’s by a
popular rap group, Whodini! The title of the song was “Friends”. It posed a question, “Friends! How many of us
have them?” Just like the girl described in the lyrics stole her girlfriends’ boyfriend,
she proved to not be a friend at all. There will always be people around who
will think that the way you do things is not good enough.
What about your critics? Critics! How many of us
have them? All of us! We all have at least one critic. Criticism is one of the harshest
realities in human interaction. There will always be those who cannot and will
not say anything nice about you or what you’re doing. There will always be
those who undermine your authority or leadership position.
There will always be
those who, no matter how much effort and expertise you put in a project, will
find some way to cut it down. Critics will always be among us. Every person who
has ever achieved any level of success had to deal with critics. The crazy
thing is that we may hear accolades and praise on a consistent basis, but the
moment we hear criticism, by nature, we hold on to the negative criticism more
than the positive commendations. Some theorists purport that it usually takes
about 5 good positive comments to cancel 1 negative comment. Critics will show
up just about everywhere in any situation you can encounter. But, the place a
critic shows up most is inside your mind. Sometimes, we can be our own worst
critic. Although, the critics around us appear to be the loudest, the one we
believe the most is the one who lives in the deepest corners of our mind; who
whispers and co-signs on what the outside critic has said. So, how do you
handle your critics? Listed below are 4 strategies that will help you handle
must first and foremost decide that you do not have to necessarily agree with
what is being said about you or regarding your work. Be careful about what you
agree to. Once you make an agreement with a statement, comment, allegation,
etc., albeit, mentally, you automatically verify that what is said
automatically has both merit and truth. You can say to yourself, “I do not
agree with that”, or “I do not receive that”, or “I do not give this person
power to define what is true about me”.
your focus. Once a negative remark is floating out there about you, your team,
or your work, the primal thing that we humans do naturally is to defend
ourselves. Consequently, expending a lot of energy on being defensive, which ultimately leads to a sense of proving, self-doubt, attack, and counter-attack.
Let me assure you that this is a waste
of good productive energy. In fact, it is counter-productive. This is where you
get to shift your focus in a direction that will neutralize that negativity.
Take the negative remark and use it as an impetus to refine what you have
already done, or you can begin a new project. Think about the big picture and focus on
that. Criticism is but a distraction and possible deterrent for you getting
accomplished the big picture. If you focus on the criticism, you will burn a
hole in the rug in attempts to disprove it. Don’t be swayed by it. Just move
pass it as you blaze forward in success.
is probably one of the most difficult strategies to implement: Be gracious! By
being gracious, you can disarm your critic. One way to be gracious is to affirm
what they are saying but confirm your ability to deliver. Here’s an example:
You are at a restaurant and ordered your favorite entrée. When you received it,
it was not as hot as you expected, and it lacked the flavor you were accustomed
to in former visits. You (the critic) inform the server of your
dissatisfaction. The server immediately apologizes, and asks if they could
order you a new dish. You agreed, ate your food, and were satisfied. More than
likely, you will return for a future visit. Now, let’s flip that. If you are
the one being criticized, you can offer an apology such as, “I am sorry that
that you are dissatisfied with my work. I put forth great effort to ensure that
I was meeting your expectations. What do you see as a possibility to make
improvements?” By asking a question similar to this, you are inviting the
person into a conversation; which, says that they are important and are valued.
Whether you take their suggestions or not is not the issue here. The point I am
making is that when people feel that you value them, they are less likely to
criticize you. You can win them over by esteeming them with sincerity.
are those who are just plain haters. Ignore them! Period! Let your haters be
Sometimes criticism is unfair. There is no fool-proof way of
keeping critics from doing what they do, criticize. You cannot change them, but
you can change how you respond to them. Remember that you are responsible for
managing yourself. You can do that with success. Remember, that you are also moving
forward. Criticism can cause unnecessary delays. No one has time for that! Handle
your critics and keep it moving! Make this your BEST day ever!
Image courtesy of http://biznovator.com/difference-winners-losers/