There’s no mystery that we are all different. We’ve got that! We have idiosyncrasies that are unlike anyone else. We have a unique orientation that shapes how we see our values, goals and strengths. We all have behavioral and thought-pattern DNA that are distinct from the person we live with or who works right beside us. At some point along life’s journey, each one of us will hopefully tap into our own individuality and discover that the scope of our life may not necessarily fit into the ideal context with which we are closely integrated on a daily basis. That context may be work, family, socio-economic status, business, social circles or networking, and maybe even church or other group organizations to which we belong. What happens when your uniqueness doesn’t quite fit in with the status quo? Typically, interactions may become awkward and disingenuous, a lack of effective communication may occur, fear or dread may set in for some, isolation and possible disinterest in making a meaningful connection may materialize. All is not lost! There’s hope! There are three reasons why I believe you, as a square peg, should NOT want to fit in the round circle:
1. Relieve yourself of the idea that the round circle is the ideal! You are the ideal for you!Every detail and nuance about you sets you apart from anyone or any group. Your brand of you, when being authentic, doesn’t require validation, acceptance, or approval. That would be the “ego” self. This also doesn’t mean that you work against the flow of things positive, productive, and responsible. It simply means that you can work within the status quo without being fused into or being extricated out of your environment.
2. Recognize when to pull back! This may not be physically possible when you’re dealing with a boss or maybe even a spouse. However, you can learn how to pull back without pulling out. Here is where you take your cool-factor up a notch or two, without robbing people of their own special qualities. This simply means that you can do a quick self-check to make sure that you are in a good head space first, which will allow you a second to lay down your defenses, fears, or objections, and be open for a transition that leads to a gracious exit, i.e., conversation, location, or conformation.
3. Re-evaluate what’s really important to you. If being a circle, when you are a square peg, is important to you, then maybe you should look at some of the great things you have going for yourself. Remember that you are shaped and constructed uniquely by the Divine Wisdom of God! One of the biggest mistakes that people make in trying to fit in is undermining the layers of attributes that they already possess. When an individual closes up by trying to mesh into a group or ideal that is invariably not them, it robs others, including group community, of the special blend of characteristics that are necessary for diversity, value, and growth.
Try one or all of these techniques to help you have a positive regard for your unique qualities, while still giving value to those of others. Square pegs will always find it next to impossible to fit in round circles.